So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
