tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
everyone is single if you try hard enough
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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