i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
