Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
