ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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