he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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