Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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