I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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