is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
