so explain again why im purple
no
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
