Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
