but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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