bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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