All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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