Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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