My first STD was from a foam party
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
