well I can't set my house on fire every night
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
