Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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