fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just want to make out with him forever
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
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