this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
