Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
