I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
