Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
