Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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