Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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