If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
