Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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