hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
