When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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