So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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