i don't like sucking hair
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
ttyl tear gas
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
