This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
She needs sedatives and a leash
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
