end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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