The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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