This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
