So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Dicks are not precious.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
