Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
