Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
