Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
