I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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