If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
