My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
