I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
