Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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