I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
