Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
