Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
