In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
