I can't watch pbs sober anymore
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Drunk is not a location!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
