yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
