Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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