the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
areolas are like halos for boobs.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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