Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
