i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
